Quiet on set?

Critique for Maddie

Hey Maddie! I was really intrigued by your pitch for the screenplay, and I was looking forward to hearing it in class. And you definitely did not disappoint! I really like the whole idea behind it. However, as with anything, there is some room for improvement. I’m not sure that I understood some of what happened in the first few scenes before we went inside her mind. Like, when she went outside to get the garbage (sorry if that’s not actually what happened, I’m having trouble remembering) - I don’t really understand why that happened.

I read some of the other critiques for yours and some people said that once we went into her mind, the dialogue didn’t seem realistic, but I actually think it was ok as you had it. The thing is, when we think about things like that in our mind, we tend to blow them out of proportion and they don’t actually sound like issues that make sense outside of our minds. (If that sentence made any sense at all.) I think its ok that the main character heard them saying things that people wouldn’t actually say, because when we’re upset, that is what we imagine, that people find the most ridiculous things and blatantly call us out for it. I’m not sure that I would go so far as killing the main character though.

Other than that, I really loved your screenplay. Good luck finishing it!

whatbecomesofus:

Hi guys,

I am pretty sure that you are supposed to reblog this with your critiques.

but that might not be correct.

I am a little dense when it comes to tumblr.

But, anyways, thank you for your critiques and ideas!